Tag: perimenopause

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    Starting this blog was something I dreamt of doing for years. It was born of years of changes (good and bad), of inspiration and challenges. Being a creative person whose brain is always churning with ideas or issues, this blog offered me a creative outlet as well as an opportunity to share my stories laced with life’s challenges. I often thought of what a better world we would have if each of us tried in our own way to encourage and motivate each other. You never know what someone is going through and how one kind word or encouragement can brighten their day. Sometimes people feel stuck in moving forward with a plan or idea, and perhaps a perspective from someone motivated them to finally move forward. And so, I started this blog discussing the writing process mixed with life’s stories and challenges. Sometimes my ideas come from something I was reminded of, something I observed, or a challenge I had to overcome. This weekend I attended a yearly Vincentian picnic at Heckscher State Park. It is a lively, fun-filled family event where people from St. Vincent and the Grenadines come together to celebrate our culture. I will write an article on my experience at the picnic in a future blog post. But in this article, I want to cover something I heard mentioned several times while at the picnic – menopause.

    This topic of menopause could be overwhelming to many, but I want to discuss it, not as an expert, but in terms of breaking it down and encouraging women to give themselves grace when they are going through this state in life, and, in general, to give another perspective. If we live long enough, all of us will go through menopause. It’s not an illness; it doesn’t have to be scary if we educate ourselves about it and make some adjustments to get more comfortable with it. Discussing menopause is not just for women; it is also for men who have women in their lives. All women past a certain age will have their menses cease. If you are like me, you wave a flag. I was glad to part ways with that part of my life. The cramps, bleeding, and other monthly disruptions to life were not pleasant. Some women fear menopause and lament about hot flashes, getting older, dryness, and all the peskiness that comes with this new stage of life. But I was happy to say goodbye to my monthly visitor.

    But then I had to deal with the hot and cold flashes, excessive sweating, my voice sounded deeper, and my mood swings were off the charts. I started to ask myself: how did my mother deal with this? I realized that growing up in the Caribbean, I never heard the word menopause. In speaking with my mother, she told me that her monthly periods simply stopped. She didn’t seem to understand this whole thing that was spoken of as an illness where people need hormone replacement and medication to make them better. As someone with a curious mind, I started to question what the difference was between cultures where a woman simply went through this stage and embraced it, and other cultures where it is treated as a scary illness that needs to be managed with drugs. I spoke with some women from the African continent, and their mothers’ experiences were similar to that of my mother.

    To put this in some context, I am a woman of a certain age who grew up in my home country in the sixties and seventies. We ate differently, consuming a lot of naturally grown foods that were even fertilized by natural fertilizer. Our diet was rich in root vegetables like yams, potatoes, tanias, edoes, dasheens, etc. These root vegetables are said to have a lot of plant estrogen, which is depleted in a woman’s body as she ages, and even our eggs, meat, and fish were organic. Both women from the Caribbean and those from the continent had a similar diet of natural foods grown organically. In my day, there were no barrels coming from America with processed foods, hormones, and all the foods laced with unhealthy substances that helped to mess us up. Today, almost everyone in the Caribbean is eating American foods from well-intended relatives who are trying to help their loved ones economically. The businesses are also importing this food to the detriment of the population.

    Could our diet in the old days be the reason we never heard of menopause or saw our mothers going through hot flashes? I can only say that in my case, I made a concerted effort to eat as naturally as America would allow you. Because even when you try to go organic, the fertilizers are not the best, and even the seeds we use are not the best. But I remember cleaning up my diet the best I could. I consumed more root vegetables, less rice, and stayed away from bleached flour, sugar, and rice. I still had some hot flashes, but they were less and milder; my voice sounded less masculine, and my body felt better overall. I no longer heard people refer to me as “sir” on a phone call, and people began to be surprised at my age, in a good way. Was that the fix-it-all for my menopause journey? No, because I live in a country where not only is bad health profitable, but you also have to pay more to eat healthy.

    So, menopause is coming for any woman who lives long enough. Don’t be scared of it. It could be a beautiful time for a host of reasons:

    • no monthly visit from your bloody visitor. Your husbands would love that one.
    • no pregnancy
    • no contraceptives necessary
    • hopefully, the kids are likely grown and off on their own
    • you know your mature self much better than you ever did your younger self

    Enjoy this phase of life. You are lucky to experience it, as many people overlook the beauty of transformation. You are not sick; it’s not something weird happening to you but rather a natural transition that many undergo. Your menses stopped; good riddance to the discomfort that can accompany those cycles. Instead, focus on the freedom that comes with getting to the phase of post menopause. Eat healthy, think positive, and embrace this new phase of your life. Take advantage of these opportunities to explore new hobbies and passions that may have once felt sidelined. Surround yourself with supportive friends and engage in uplifting conversations that enrich your spirit. This is a time for growth, reflection, and new beginnings, so cherish every moment of it.